Trick or Treat?
I often wonder if we fully grasp what it means to have a long term relationship with anyone. It could be romantic, business or platonic in nature but they all require work in order to sustain them fully.
I look around me and see these relationships fall apart for many reasons but it all came back to not maintaining the health and viability of your partner.
Someone asked me a question last week that led to my wanting to delve into the romantic aspect of relationships here.
When we first meet and begin the process of getting to know a person, we should check the temperature of those feelings regularly by asking ourselves things like
–What are my motives?
-Do I truly like this person or is it something to do that deflects/detracts from loneliness?
– What shared values do we have beyond the initial attraction?
-Will we openly communicate in ways that works through any issues that will arise?
– Am I in this relationship to rebound from a failed one?
You get the gist right?
The way we enter a relationship, sets the tone for how it flows and it still requires work and checking in with each other regularly because life will get in the way.
Unhappiness breeds all kinds of malcontent when not addressed in a timely fashion. When we add marriage to the mix, that flame goes way up because you are now dealing with blended families and lord knows, everyone has an opinion whether you asked for it or not.
Leave and cleave is not a cute catch phrase. It really means something. If you gotta run back to momma every time you have a question, how do you develop relationship with your spouse?
If you allow your children to dictate your lives through whatever means they choose to employ, that will cause a serious rift.
If you gush about another person without fully acknowledging and routinely appreciating the one that lives with you, it’s cause for a situation.
Do not invite the opinion of others into the seriousness that is your life. Learn about your mate enough to know when to draw the line and pull back with compromise and love.
We say that we know relationships won’t be a bed of roses but the first time we get pricked with the thorn of life and see blood, we run for cover and end what could be a long term partnership
The flip side of that is hanging around and grasping at someone who consistently shows you with their actions you are not valued.
A relationship that begins on shady ground will feel like a trick from hell. One that is nurtured becomes a treat that keeps on giving. You decide through your choices.
Know thyself. Love thyself.
Dueces and mad love,